Lesson 1- Encouraging the Heart

[Lori Hebert]

Share a story about a time when you received thanks or recognition for something you had done and how it made you feel?


In 2021 the Strength to Succeed program was awarded Recovery Provider of the year. And while this recognition was for the program, the Director who presented the award to us was a woman I have known for 5 years, a fellow PTO mom, and is widely respected in the addiction and recovery field in New Hampshire. Her words recognized the hard work she has seen me put in over the last 8 (almost 9) years within my own growth along with all I have dedicated to the program. I don’t think my words can validate the shame and guilt I have felt from being a mother who was involved with child protection. Until you have a child removed you really can’t identify with how low this can bring a person, I failed at my most important job….. I carry this with me even today. But that day when she publicly highlighted me, a mom in recovery who works relentlessly in helping a marginalized population (parents involved with DCYF) and in changing systems, some of that baggage got a little lighter. And although I have spoken about my experience 100’s of times, to hear it from another woman in recovery whom I have the utmost respect and admiration for, it made me find a bit of healing and a good mom. I am crying writing this!


Then share a time you didn’t receive acknowledgement for something you thought was important (a special achievement, extra hard work, etc.) How did it make you feel then? Why is it important to give recognition and positive feedback?


My entire career working for Management and Marketing contracts for HUD was a series of unacknowledged accomplishments. I was an integral part in developing our proprietary software, along with writing winning contract proposals and retaining contract areas through staff retention and contract performance, it seemed that my achievements were never ones to publicly recognize. Sure, I received yearend bonuses, but the weight of always trying to reach an unattainable level of recognition took a toll on me as a professional and on my personal life. I believe that constantly feeling inadequate played a role in my eventual relapse (after 18 years substance free) and subsequent involvement with child protection.

I learned a lot from this experience and from now managing a workforce in recovery. I try to remember just like with contract performance, “if I don’t report and highlight effort, success, growth in my staff, it is like it never happened”. I remember that if I believe in them, they will believe in themselves and be able to bring that to the families we serve. I also know, from my own experience, leaders can cause harm when they don’t pay attention, actively listen, acknowledge needs and highlight not just the big but the everyday accomplishments.

Then provide a thoughtful response to the posts of two other people.



#2: Post your score and share your thoughts about your score. Do you think it is accurate? Why or why not?

My Score: 191

I feel this is accurate and most likely higher now having gone through leadership academy. I have shared at least one reading or video from each module with my team. My staff are now bringing stretch assignments to me or ideas for a PDSA to improve not only their professional skills but the program performance. Staff come to meetings ready to give “kudos” to other team members, and we have intentionally built in a peer support intervention for staff working the program. I am the director of a program where I was the population we serve, let that sit for a minute. And I know that I can still learn and grow to continue to be a leader who encourages the heart and connects with them beyond contract performance.

[Stacey Fraser]

Lori - you are a super amazing woman, mom, and fellow student.
Your post, and past posts, always inspire me, help me see different sides of my own reality. As I have come to know you in the last 10 months, I am not at all surprised by how much you have embraced this endeavor we are going through and by how much you have come away with and continue to share with those you lead. We have the opportunity to learn so much from class, but we also learn so much from each other - and I thank you very much!
Stacey

[Lorna Beaton]

As we would say in Scotland, 'wit a wummin' you are!

Guilt can be such a damaging emotion. You own it and use it in such a positive way to gain recognition yourself and give recognition to others. I totally respect this about you.

Your passion shines through everything you do and I'm sure runs through your teams and your family alike ❤

[John Uliano]

Hi Lori - not sure I have the words to necessarily respond to your post, as it is so heartfelt and genuine, but I just wanted to comment that recognition can mean so much more when it comes from peers, whether it's colleagues or whomever, who have experiences in the proverbially trenches, who then take that time to acknowledge you and your work. For me, and maybe for you based on your post, that can worth so much more, in different ways, than the words of acknowledgment from even a leader or CEO, although those are amazing to hear as well! Or even year end bonuses, as you reference in the latter part of your post. Thank you for sharing so much about yourself and contributing to my learning!

[Leslie]

Hi Lori, pass the handkerchief. What a reflection, thank you for sharing. May I add that each time you tell your story, you are giving another Mom who has felt similar pain the ability to recognize that recovery is possible, support is necessary and one day at a time is the process. BRAVO!

Leslie

[gdidona]

Hi Lori, One of the concepts in Leadership Academy is that the greatest leaders allow themselves to be vulnerable when appropriate. You have truly demonstrated that trait throughout this entire course, and I have seen you gain strength from every share. Your post is an absolutely perfect example of this. You exemplify the idea that vulnerability is not weakness, but, instead a source of strength for both your and those you impact. Your description of when you did not receive recognition clearly demonstrates the critical importance of this often overlooked (and misunderstood) trait. Bravo indeed!